You A re Gonna Have A Rotten Day When:


1. You wake up face down on the pavement.
2. You put your bra on backward and it fits better.
3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
4. You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
6. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
last night, and there aren't any.
7. You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
8. Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
9. You wake up and discover your waterbed broke
and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
10. Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck
as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the interstate.  ¶ 11:58 PM