Real Baseball Injuries
**Infielder Chris Brown missed a game because he "slept on his eye funny".**Pitcher Adam Eaton stabbed himself in the stomach as he was using a knife to open a DVD wrapper.**Sammy Sosa was disabled after a violent sneeze.**Pitcher Jeff Juden missed a start because a tattoo he got prior to the season opener got infected.**Reliever Randy Flores was put on the disabled list - while removing his socks after a game, a large patch of skin also came off.**DH Mickey Tettleton went on the disabled list with athlete's foot. The story is that he tied his shoes too tight.**Utility infielder Bret Barberie missed a game because he mistakenly rubbed chili juice in his eyes.**Pitcher Ricky Bones injured his lower back getting out of a chair while watching television in the clubhouse.**Outfielder Dustan Mohr strained his groin while trying to get out of the dugout for a celebration for another player's home run.**Reliever Larry Anderson strained a rib muscle jumping from the bench to join a brawl.  ¶ 10:53 AM