Monkey Massage
If I had a pet monkey, I'd train him to be my very own personal masseur. That way, after a hard day at the office, I could come home and get a nice vigorous rubdown every night. I'll bet they could really work the knots out of your shoulder muscles with those prehensile toes of theirs. It doesn't get any better than that, my friends... Oh sure, they're a bit gamey (most masseurs are), but if you can get past that overwhelming stench of chimp and their nasty habits of biting your ears and flinging their feces at you, then you really can't beat the price of one banana for a complete body massage... And let me tell you, you sure get your bananas worth!...  ¶ 1:20 AM