Monday, November 13, 2006
Gecko Gets Deported
Months of lobbying by the League of United Latin Americans Citizens (LULAC) has resulted in getting the Government Employees Insurance Co. (GEICO) spokes-reptile deported. The unnamed gecko is believed to have entered this country some 15 years ago after he stowed away on a Liverpool to New York British freighter. Facing daunting obstacles such as race, color, and speaking very proper English, the little green icon has lived the American dream for the past 5 years.
The personable gecko is said to be red with anger over what he says is a 'hate crime'. "I came to this country with nothing. I worked jobs no American reptile was willing to do. I've never taken a dime of government assistance and now I'm being forced out of this country because a bunch of Washington panty-waists won’t stand up to a bunch of invading Mexicans", said the furious reptile. "What about my family? At last count I have more than 2200 anchor lizards in my family tree. Would LULAC have treated me this way if I had taken on the color brown"? he said.
When asked why he never applied for citizenship, the gecko said, "Well luv, I must have tried at least 20 times to apply for citizenship and each time I risked my life in doing so". "Every time I went to the Immigration Office some woman would scream and then everyone would try to smash me brains in. On at least 3 occasions by tail was severed from my body and I had to regenerate another one. You can't imagine the embarrassment I faced in my community as a tail-less lizard?" he said.
The gecko said he has never participated in any pro-immigration demonstrations. He adds that he loves his country of origin but he would never fly the British flag here in the states. "I'm a lean, green, lizard machine and the next time you see me I'll literally be red, white, and blue. Let's see LULAC do that"! he said. ¶ 6:58 PM
Months of lobbying by the League of United Latin Americans Citizens (LULAC) has resulted in getting the Government Employees Insurance Co. (GEICO) spokes-reptile deported. The unnamed gecko is believed to have entered this country some 15 years ago after he stowed away on a Liverpool to New York British freighter. Facing daunting obstacles such as race, color, and speaking very proper English, the little green icon has lived the American dream for the past 5 years.
The personable gecko is said to be red with anger over what he says is a 'hate crime'. "I came to this country with nothing. I worked jobs no American reptile was willing to do. I've never taken a dime of government assistance and now I'm being forced out of this country because a bunch of Washington panty-waists won’t stand up to a bunch of invading Mexicans", said the furious reptile. "What about my family? At last count I have more than 2200 anchor lizards in my family tree. Would LULAC have treated me this way if I had taken on the color brown"? he said.
When asked why he never applied for citizenship, the gecko said, "Well luv, I must have tried at least 20 times to apply for citizenship and each time I risked my life in doing so". "Every time I went to the Immigration Office some woman would scream and then everyone would try to smash me brains in. On at least 3 occasions by tail was severed from my body and I had to regenerate another one. You can't imagine the embarrassment I faced in my community as a tail-less lizard?" he said.
The gecko said he has never participated in any pro-immigration demonstrations. He adds that he loves his country of origin but he would never fly the British flag here in the states. "I'm a lean, green, lizard machine and the next time you see me I'll literally be red, white, and blue. Let's see LULAC do that"! he said. ¶ 6:58 PM
