Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Bears Do Not A Good Friendship Make
Why Bears Don't Make Good FriendsBy Kris
Not friend material.At first glance, one might come to the conclusion that a bear would make a great friend. After all, they're cute, they live in caves, and they provide great protection from thieves and robots. But when you look a little closer, bears actually do not make good friends.First off, you can't trust a bear. They're wild animals and you never know what they might do. Movies like Gentle Ben might fool you otherwise, but a bear is anything but trustworthy. Do you know what the number one cause of picnic basket thefts at national parks is? Yeap, bears. How can you ever trust someone that would willingly just steal a picnic basket? That's someone's lunch in there, now they're hungry! And they'll probably go down to the river to try and catch some salmon and ruin their new shoes or worse, they'll be eaten by another bear who is trying to catch salmon in the river!Lots of people think living in a cave is cool, after all, Batman did it and he's freaking sweet. But there are a few things you might not know. First of all, those luxuries you enjoy like plumbing, heating, and Playstation 2 aren't available in a cave. I don't even like to go over to someone's house if they don't have cable, I can't imagine going to visit a friend in a cave! Caves are also full of bats. Which are blind. So that means they'd probably be flying into you all the time because they wouldn't see you there. That would be very annoying! ¶ 5:26 AM
Why Bears Don't Make Good FriendsBy Kris
Not friend material.At first glance, one might come to the conclusion that a bear would make a great friend. After all, they're cute, they live in caves, and they provide great protection from thieves and robots. But when you look a little closer, bears actually do not make good friends.First off, you can't trust a bear. They're wild animals and you never know what they might do. Movies like Gentle Ben might fool you otherwise, but a bear is anything but trustworthy. Do you know what the number one cause of picnic basket thefts at national parks is? Yeap, bears. How can you ever trust someone that would willingly just steal a picnic basket? That's someone's lunch in there, now they're hungry! And they'll probably go down to the river to try and catch some salmon and ruin their new shoes or worse, they'll be eaten by another bear who is trying to catch salmon in the river!Lots of people think living in a cave is cool, after all, Batman did it and he's freaking sweet. But there are a few things you might not know. First of all, those luxuries you enjoy like plumbing, heating, and Playstation 2 aren't available in a cave. I don't even like to go over to someone's house if they don't have cable, I can't imagine going to visit a friend in a cave! Caves are also full of bats. Which are blind. So that means they'd probably be flying into you all the time because they wouldn't see you there. That would be very annoying! ¶ 5:26 AM
