Steve Wright One-Liners
took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. So I looked closer. It was made of grass.
Smoking cures weight problems... Eventually...
Dyselxics Have More Nuf.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one... It wasn't doing what I was doing.
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
I invented the cordless extension cord.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.  ¶ 3:54 AM